The snorkel mask is probably the most awkward-looking piece of sporting equipment: when properly positioned, it smashes in the upper lip, forcing the mouth into a fat-fish sort of arrangement, and then the suction of the make pulls the skin around the eyes taunt, forcing oval eyes into a temporary Asian position. And then the breathing tube…that pushes fat-fish mouth into fat-fish-lip mouth. And then when the mask and snorkel are removed, you’ve got a lovely red suction line to remind you of your trip for the next several hours. Attractive. Even the adverts hawking the glories of the Barrier Reef, with the bikini & speedo-clad tourists can’t make the models’ faces look normal with that mask on. And then there is the sound of air rushing in and out of the breathing tube. I ended messed around with various movie quotes where a breathy, windy tone of voice was used. Pretty entertaining when you’ve got a lot swim ahead of you and the water is what the Aussies call “fuckin’ cold, mate.” It’s also pretty entertaining to hear yourself burp through a snorkel…not that I did that, Mom.
The views were worth it, though(o: Ash and I snorkeled at three different locations along the Inner Reef, where the Whitsunday Island Archipelago is located. (I know using the word archipelago is absolutely pretentious, but I actually know what the word means and there are very few opportunities in my life where I can use it. Archipelago means “grouping of islands.”) We snorkeled Maureen’s Cove, aka Butterfly Beach, Pearl Bay, nicknamed the fish bowl, and then…Whale Bay? I don’t remember the name of the first stop.
Let’s just get it out in the open that I was absolutely petrified of actually getting in the water to see the Great Barrier Reef. That’s because I have two great fears in life: the dark and depth. Ash and I were fully aware that our particular boating trip was labeled “Eco,” which meant we’d be doing lots of bush-walking on the islands and more importantly, snorkeling. I’ll admit that I hadn’t fully gripped the reality that I would actually be snorkeling, in a wetsuit, in the water. With that attractive mask. Even paying my $15 extra bucks for the wetsuit (stinger suit, or wettie) didn’t help reality set in that I was actually going to get in the water. Looking back, I don’t really know what I was thinking…Like, would I just put the wetsuit on for fun and catch some rays? That’d make for fetching tan lines. No, reality for me didn’t set in until I had my wetsuit zipped up fully, mask spittled on and smashing my face, my flippers making me walk like a stork over the deck towards the swimming ladder. That’s when reality hit. And I hit reality, at a refreshing 55ยบ F. The impact of hitting the water knocked the breath out of my body and it took me a couple of minutes of flailing around before I steadied myself enough to put my face in the water. Later on, Ash told me that I had a deer-in-headlights look about me once I surfaced…that didn’t go away for about 20 minutes. All I have to say is that it was cold, it was my first time snorkeling and I realized I needed to pee, but didn’t want to: a) pee through my wetsuit (gross) and b) didn’t know if human pee would attract sharks. I swear, I was looking out for everyone else who was snorkeling with us.
However, I’ll also proudly say that I didn’t ever consider not snorkeling…And surprisingly enough to me, even though I was scared witless (obviously) the whole time in the water (think about it: 100s of fish, swimming directly for YOUR face didn’t make me feel more comfortable in the water.), there was really no where else I wanted to be in those moments. Go figure. I wasn’t brokenhearted about getting out of the water though.
The coral was incredible – the diversity of the reef is shocking, really. I’ve never been anywhere else in the world where I could see literally dozens of different types of organisms crammed into such a tiny area. Wow. And the colors! Above the water, the coral looks like a shadow against the blueness of the water, but as soon as you put your face beneath the waterline, it’s like looking into a fragmented rainbow of textures. WOW. I loved the coral.
I didn’t love the fish.
Fish are food, not friends.
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